Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Due date and Sonogram

DUE DATE

Since we found out about K, we've always known that there could be two possible birth fathers BF. We've always been told, one is going to sign and one refuses. When a BF refuses to sign relinquishment papers, the baby is placed in the agency's transitional care program for 31 days to give the BF the chance to claim the baby (or something like that). Because of the situation, we've always thought we would have one extra month after Baby is born to prepare. K is due Aug 14. That means, I will have the chance to start school (which could be a new school if I get something closer to our new house) and have a chance to establish the school year before taking care of the little one. Yesterday (Tue, June 15) we found out that BF "D" the one who refused to sign, actually SIGNED the papers. HOLY CRAP!!! This means, we would be getting the baby shortly after birth and no time to start the school year b/c I would be on maternity leave. EEEEK! That ruins everything we had planned!!! On our way to lunch, case worker CW called to say BF "A" just signed his papers as well! OMG!!!!! This is nearly a done deal!!! Oh yes, to top things off, K tells us her doc says she's due Aug 11 not the 14th. The 14th was the date K and Mom came up with. Have I said HOLY CRAP yet???

SONOGRAM

I didn't get a picture to bring home, but K says she will get me copies. I thought I was going to miss the appointment b/c I got caught in two areas of horrendous traffic! I usually never get caught in traffic, but it seemed like everything was stacked against me to get to the appointment on-time! Luckily K was running a little behind too. Shew! As I was walking into one entrance, since I had no clue as to where was I was going, I happen to look around and saw K walking into another entrance! I caught up with her and her group. Since she lives in the dorm at the agency, the child birth coordinator CBC was with her as well as another dorm girl R. They both had sonogram appointments. The doctor's office was running 45 minutes behind, so K, R, R's boyfriend, the CBC and me sat in the lobby chit- chatting.

When it was finally K's turn to go back, we were only back there for about 5 minutes! Tops! It went by way too fast. The guy doing the sonograms didn't seem to enjoy his job very much. He made it seem more like a chore - very insensitive and not very personable :-( He measured the brain, said it was normal. Showed us the baby's thigh bone, said it was normal. Showed us the heartbeat and played it out loud - that was the most awesome part! 133 bpm - normal. Showed us the baby's privates to reassure us it was still a girl! Yay! Still a girl!! I'm pretty married to the idea of us having a girl.

Our group walked out together, and I gave a K a big warm hug. I thanked her again for the invite and how much it meant to me to be able to share this moment with her. We made plans to meet again soon b/c Mom still wants to meet us. We want to meet her as well.

After I got home and cooked dinner, I got B to sit with me at our new dining room table for the first time where we finally decided on a middle name!! We aren't ready to share our baby name just yet. I will share it soon enough! However, I will say her initials are K. J. B.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Face-2-Face

We had our face-to-face meeting today (Wed, June 16) in Ft. Worth @Johnny Carino's @2:30pm. I wasn't nervous all day until the clock hit 2:00. We stopped at a store to pick up a card to go with our gift. We thought we knew where the restaurant was, but we felt like we were getting lost. Called case worker CW, and she told us we were heading in the right direction. I grabbed a few tissues before getting outta the truck b/c I could feel the tears welling in my eyes knowing that I was about to meet the young woman who thinks we are worthy of having and raising her child. It's an indescribable and incredible feeling. We've talked to her twice on the phone and many times through text, but this was face-to-face! I didn't actually know what she looked like or who I was expecting. Does she have blonde hair? brown hair? black hair? red hair? blue eyes? brown eyes? green eyes? I don't know!! She finally walked in, and I was like, "Is that her?!" I gave her the biggest hug ever and started crying immediately. Words will never be able to tell K how thankful we are for her coming into our lives. She has given us hope that we will one day fulfill our dream of having a family.

K very cute and petite with long blonde hair and blue eyes. She's funny, sweet and very ambitious. She had some sarcastic moments too, which I loved! After we sat down we gave her our small gift. Nothing fancy, just a sweet card with a note and a photo cube for all the photos we're going to send her. She really liked it or said she did anyway. She's very polite.

Conversation flowed the whole time. Our CWs were there to help facilitate conversation. Our CW did way more facilitating that hers. I did ask K if there was one dream she had for her daughter that we could fulfill what would it be. She said taking her to dance lessons. CHECK! I think we can handle sending our daughter (it's so cool to say that) to dance lessons.

We took a picture together, but for privacy reasons, I will not be posting it. K is making a scrapbook for us to give our daughter about K. I'm really looking forward to seeing it. K also said she's crocheting 2 blankets. I'm exciting about those as well.

The best part about lunch, I almost forgot!! She invited us to her next sonogram!! Really bad timing though. It's tomorrow (Thursday, June 17). B can't make it, but I wouldn't miss it for the world even though it means turning around tomorrow and driving right back to Ft. Worth. She's asking me to share this amazing moment with her that I will never be able to experience for myself. Why on Earth would I say no?? If K's baby truly ends up as our baby, then I want to share that moment with her. Can't wait to post about it!!!

Monday, June 28, 2010

1st call with K!

Here's more of a breakdown of the awkward phone call with K and her mom. It was actually Mom that called us instead of K. It wasn't until our conversation was over that we realized K did try to call, but she didn't let the phone ring long enough for us to hear it. I tested the 800# as soon as we got it. I realized it would ring at a fake place before forwarding to my cell. It rings FOREVER to the person trying to call. K didn't know it would take forever for the call to actually come through my cell.

I started out the conversation by saying how thankful we are for her choosing us and how happy she has made us. I asked her what it was like living in the dorms (at the agency). Her response made us laugh. She said, "It's OK. It's just a bunch of pregnant girls living together."  I don't remember much else except for the hard questions she started asking us. She asked me if I planned to be a SAHM. I let her know that I would love to, but financially that was not a possibility. We did let her know that Brandt would be a part-time SAHD, and we hoped to find a neighbor or trusted person to keep the baby on the other days. We let K know that B's mom has offered to come down two-three days a week if needed to keep the baby until we could find someone. We assured her we were not sending the baby to daycare until the baby was as least two -  to begin learning social skills.

Her next toughie was, "How do you plan to introduce me at our annual visits?" I already had my answer thank goodness b/c that is a hard question for an adoptive family to answer if one doesn't already know! She was concerned b/c some adoptive families of the other girls in the dorms were going to call their birth moms Aunt X or CousinX or family friend. When we were at the agency in Oct, I found a book on an end table called The Tummy Mummy. I read it and was in tears by the end. I knew that's what I wanted to call our birth mom - Tummy Mummy. I told K and Mom about the book and how we wanted to call K - Miss K. They both really liked that. It seemed like everyone was getting teary-eyed on the phone. Maybe that's when K felt a connection with us. I did too, but I didn't know if one little HUGE answer would be the deciding point.

Mom was trying to ask B about his birth parents, but she didn't really know how to ask or what to ask. Basically, she wanted to know how B felt towards his birth parents. He told her it was 30 years ago and a different kind of adoption. He said he doesn't hate his birth parents but doesn't feel the need to go and find them either. He told her his real parents were his (adoptive) parents. He doesn't see is adoptive parents as adoptive parents. They are his real family and real parents. I thought K and Mom might have been turned off by his answer, but we weren't going to sugar-coat anything. K either accepts us or she doesn't. Luckily, it wasn't an issue. Mom was just curious or maybe she was asking for K. Who knows?

I ended the conversation by letting K know again how much joy and love she has brought into our hearts and how thankful we were again. I let K know we wanted to talk to her again soon as well as meet in person. Everyone agreed that was a great idea.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

We have been chosen!

I've been dying to share this since May!! We have been chosen by birth mom K!!! We learned about K at the same time we learned about the Indiana birth mom with all the issues (May 10th). I felt different about K, so B and I decided not to share any knowledge about her to ANYONE! - except Danielle. Danielle lives in Mass., and I had to share the info with someone. She was sworn to secrecy b/c Danielle's hubby and B have a few common relatives. We weren't ready to get our parents excited for no reason if K decided not to choose us. It was so hard not to tell anyone at work or to write about it either.

We found out she chose us on Monday, May 24th. I was driving home when our case worker CW called. I didn't start crying till I got off the phone. Then, I cried for 2 days. On my way to the new house, I was scheming a way to tell Brandt, so it would be a surprise. I only had 30 min in the car. I found a note pad in the car and scribbled something in it. I was using a pen with a metal clip to hold the place of where I wrote. Of course, when I got to the house, everybody and their dog was there three other people were there. I was just dying to tell B alone!! Luckily everyone left or stepped outside after about 10 min. I called him to the back room where I was working on the crib. I didn't think he'd ever get there, and he finally walked in!

Me handing him the note pad with the page marked, nervous as hell and in my stern teacher voice: Did you write this?

B scared to death about what it could be: What is it?

Me: Read it.

B reading "SHE CHOSE US!" and smiling: Are you serious?

Me (I don't really remember what I said, but we'll pretend I said): Yep!
Then we had a sweet moment of crying and hugging. It seemed like that moment would never get here for us. It was so wonderful to share.

After finding out, we still did not share with ANYONE! - except my BTF (best teacher friend) Amy.  I think I told her on Tue or Wed. I was about to BURST!!! I'm not the best at keeping secrets if you haven't noticed :-) I finally told my parents (B was working) on Friday, May 28th at our usual Friday night dinner place. I wanted to tell them in person and not in an email or by phone - same for B's parents. We told B's parents the following Monday - moving day. Everyone was so excited when we told them. MIL sang "We're getting a baaaaby! We're getting a baaaaby!" and danced around all morning. It was really cute. They all vowed not to tell anyone either (although it was too hard for me not to share with just a few ppl :0)

Before we even told our parents, Thursday (27th) after we found out we were chosen, we actually got the chance to talk to K on the phone. It was pretty awkward b/c she wanted her mom on the phone. I had planned the conversation in my head a million times, but it just didn't go according to plan at all. We had no prior knowledge of her wanting Mom on the call. That seems like a really important thing that the CW should have called me about! I saw the email the next morning! She NEVER emails!!! WTH? I left the conversation doubting the whole thing. B said it went fine. Men! Our CW mentioned that K would be making a final decision about us after the conversation to see if we had a connection. To me there was no connection (freaking out and replaying whole conversation in my head over and over) b/c K wouldn't open up to us b/c her mom was on the other end. We had to wait till freakin' Monday to find out if K felt we were a match. CW said K liked us and agreed having her mom on the phone was not the best idea. At this point, we were still NOT an official match b/c K wants a face-to-face meeting first. We were eager to talk to K again and meet her in person. Oh yeah, we had to get an 800# for K to call us on, since we are not supposed to give out our personal #'s. If she's going to be in our lives for the next 18 years+, what does it matter if she has our #?

Sunday, June 6 I decided to text K to tell her we would call around 6 or 6:30 to see how she was doing. I thought I blocked my # like we were instructed to do when I got a response back from her saying she had to work and wouldn't be able to! I was like oh $h*t oops! I went with it and had a text conversation and made plans to call the next day before she was to go into work at 6. 

I guess I haven't said what she's having, have I?


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It's a GIRL!!!!!! K is due Aug 11th!!!!! We are so excited and cannot wait to start our family. More info of our journey to come each day! I've got several posts already written out, but had to wait to post them!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Beginnings of a Nursery

Mommy Dearest came over this weekend to help me move the crib and set up the nursery. It never even occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to get it through the door of the room in which it was assembled. Grrrr! I spend 2 days putting that thing together! Anywho, we got it put back together no problem except I kinda nicked the crap out of a changing table drawer - oops! - while swinging an end to the crib around. Mommy Dearest was freaking out, but I was like, "Whatever. It's fine." Now if Mommy Dearest had nicked the crap outta my changing table, then I would be upset. She didn't. I did. Oh well! What can be done about it besides nothing? No need to cry or worry about it. (Cute monkey is from Mommy and Daddy (me and B). We bought it at MGM in Vegas on our last trip for a while ;-)

Then we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out where the best location of the changing table b/c we both agreed the crib should be on the left side of the room. For some reason the crib being on the left felt like better feng shui than being on the right. I get OCD about things that don't feel right. The crib possibly needing to go on the right did not feel right! We worked it out though. I really wanted the changing table under the window, but the rocker/ottoman did not allow that :-( It was way bigger than we though!

We put the rocker/ottoman together (gift from Mommy Dearest). It's so comfy. I look forward to rocking my baby in it!! We put the playpen together last (gift from MIL and FIL along with Diaper Genie and soothing sounds thingy in the corner of crib). The directions were horrible, but luckily Mommy Dearest figured out where everything went. It even came with little puppies that hang from the canopy of the bassinet! I had no idea it had puppies! I think I was more excited about the puppies than the actual playpen. I love little details (I guess that's the Tori Spelling in me ;-) like that. The playpen also has an attached changing table. Should come in handy!!


Danielle sent me the fab basket of stuff on the ottoman and the froggy and soft blankie on the crib. Thanks again Danielle! You are so sweet!!! I made the little box with the "B" on it in the windowsill. My kids (students) were very impressed by my box, but all I saw were the imperfections of course. There's the giraffe I bought a while back. The first gift I bought for our baby. The book on the rocker is our profile book that the BMs get to look at. This is our copy for the baby.

Enjoy the pics! Still deciding where to put the 3 animal paintings...

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Field Trip 2010 RJH 6th Grade

Normally, I go with the 8th grader on their field trip since my homeroom class is 8th grade. This year I really wanted to go skating and to the zoo. I sucked up to secretary Lori ;-) pulled a few strings to switch. Also, our closing date ending up being the same date at the 8th grade trip, so I couldn't have gone on that one anyway. Anywho...we got to pick our own groups. I had the best group ever!!


My group was crackin' me up! I had a lot more kids than this, but these were the brave soldiers that would agree to take a picture with me :-) We had so much fun. At one point, we decided to see what the Nature Trail was all about. The damn thing brought us back to the beginning of the zoo!! We had to go all the way back through the nature trail. The NT didn't even have anything interesting to see! What a freakin' waste of time!! When we got out of the NT, we ran into another group from our school. We were telling them how much fun and how cool the NT was, and they should definitely go down it. LOL. They didn't listen, but it was funny.






























This poor tortoise was having bad rumors spread about him by some know-it-all kid from our school. The kid said turtles don't  lay with their heads out unless they are dead. Mrs. B to the rescue to prove the kid wrong! I pointed how to him that the tortoise was blinking and perfectly fine. :-P

No pictures from the skating rink, but I busted the place up! ;-) I have been skating for over 23 years. I blew the kids' minds by skating fast and BACKWARDS!  A lot of them were calling me a showoff. Ha ha! It was so much fun though. Good times...good times.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Puppies

I call my dogs puppies even though they are not. Here's a pic of my sweet Maxipooh asleep in the clothes basket at the old house and sleeping on my chest while we didn't have furniture in the old house.

The puppies are really enjoying their new house! This was while the painting was still happening.













This was after the painting was over. Shhh! Don't tell their daddy they were temporarily in the bedroom!! ;-)


This was was taken while we were waiting on B to come out of Home Depot. I have the best puppies ever! They are doing a good job of keeping me thin b/c we don't have a fence yet. I have to put their leashes on and walk them around the neighborhood ever 4 hours or whenever I get around to it for potty breaks!!