Sunday, July 18, 2010

Adoption Training, Adoption Book List and other stuff

So B and I are required to turn in a log every three months about the adoption training stuff we are doing to prepare for the baby. Since we bought a house, painted a house, moved into a house, fixed up a house, got chosen by a birthmom, met our birthmom, went to a sonogram, met our birthmom's mom, and set up a nursery, we sorta forgot about our training log till the other day :-) Ooops! We just have to do one thing every 3 months to show how we are preparing for placement- read a book about adoption, do a training video (8 required videos @$15 a pop!), take a class, etc. I ordered our last 4 videos and am waiting for them to come in. After we finish a video, we have to take a quiz on them. The quizzes are so stupid. True or False: The instructor in the video was a man. Like I said, the quizzes are LAME-O! We aren't required to have the videos completed before placement. We'll have them done before that anyway.

My blogger friend Maru of Adoption Journey said her agency/case worker did not give her and her husband a book list, which upsets and baffles me. Here's the one our agency gave us!

BOOK LIST - Gladney Center for Adoption recommended readings, presented to us in Nov 2009
(Never buy a book brand new! Buy them at (by eBay). I've been buying books there since college. Gently used books for way less than 1/2 the price usually!)

Dealing with infertility
Adopting After Infertility: The Decision, The Commitment, The Experience by Patricia Johnston
Resolving Infertility by the Staff of Resolve with Diane Aronson
Understanding Infertility: Insights for Family and Friends by Patricia Johnston
Surviving Infertility: Linda P. Salzer

Before Adopting
The Adoption Resource Book: Everything you Ought to Know about Creating an Adoptive Family by Lois Gilman
The Complete Adoption Book: Laura Beauvais-Godwin, Raymond Godwin
The Family of Adoption: Joyce Maguire Pavao
The Unofficial Guide to Adopting a Child by Andrea Della Vecchio
Adoption is a Family Affair: Patricia Johnston: Suggested and a recommended read by Maru from Adoption Journey

Adoptive Parenting
Parenting Your Adopted Child: Stephanie E. Siegel
Raising Adopted Children: Lois Ruskai Melina
Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother by Jana Wolff - Highly recommended by Tiffany from All Aboard the IF Train!
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge

DISCLAIMER - At the moment, I can't personally recommend any of them b/c I haven't read them! I plan to buy the 1st or 2nd and 4th (for sure) book under the Adoptive Parenting section.


Kristi B's suggested books about adoption
DISCLAIMER - I have only read the 1st book on my list and plan to buy several of the others after sampling them at books stores. Then I'll go to and buy them! I already have the books I want on my wishlist. Half sends me an email once a week or so letting me know they have more copies available and how much!

The Tummy Mummy: Michelle Madrid-Branch - Such an amazing book!!! We will be referring to our birth mom as Khloe's tummy mummy.
A Is for Adopted: Eileen Tucker Cosby, Norma S. Strange
Angels of Love: Lynda Arnold - Interracial adoption - didn't get a rave review, but don't think there are that many interracial adoption books out there.
Over the Moon: Karen Katz - International adoption (Guatemala in particular - but when reading to your baby you just substitute the location to which you traveled) - rave review
How I Was Adopted: Samantha's Story: Joanna Cole - Looks really cute, rave reviews, Samantha "Sam" tells the reader to story of being adopted.
My New Family: A First Look at Adoption Pat Thomas (Good Reviews on Amazon)
The Open Adoption Experience: Lois Ruskai Melina,
The Open Adoption Book: Bruce M. Rappaport Ph.D.
Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born: Jamie Lee Curtis  - Recommended by Maru and my MIL
I have to go to the doctor to get a paper signed (since the one I turned in last year is expiring Aug 18) saying that I'm healthy and physically able to take care of Khloe. If placement happens after Aug 18, the one on file will be no good, and we will not be able to bring Khloe home :-( I moved to a place with TONS of doctors - too many doctors actually! When I find a new doctor to go to, they aren't going to know me like my old doctor's place :-( I have to fill out all that paper work and remember my life's and family's medical history -Booo! Speaking of doctors, I have to find Khloe a doctor too! I've got hers narrowed down to two. I have to find childcare for a few days a week. So much to do!


  1. We have to do stuff like this too. But our's has to be done prior to placement.
    The only book on your list that I have read is Secret Thoughts of and Adoptive Mother. And I would highly recommend it! It was really good!

    Good luck getting your physical updated. I had to go to a brand new doctor in a brand new town, as well. No fun!

  2. We had to read Raising Adopted Children but we don't have to do a check-list like that. We also had to go to a infant care class; that was humorous, we were the only ones there not pregnant :) We had to finish all of that before our homestudy. Good luck with the new doctor!

  3. If you want to be even more baffled, when our SW was doing our home study she asked if we had done any reading or research related to adoption and to list the books, websites, seminars, etc... WE were the ones providing a list. :o|

    Aaaanyway... Great post!

    We have a video from Gladney. It was our first glimpse at domestic infant adoption. :o)

    We read "Adoption is a Family Affair", by Patricia Irwin Johnston. I wonder if she's the same Patricia from some of the books you have listed. Must be, since she also writes about infertility. "Adoption is a Family Affair" is a great book. We thought everyone in our family would love to read it and bought copies for everyone... Big mistake. Read it, just don't give it to your loved ones. (If you want to know more details, email me.)

    "Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother" is absolutely amazing!

    We also have "The Tummy Mommy". It's a good book, although I like "Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born" by Jamie Lee Curtis even more. It's absolutely lovely... Brings tears to my eyes every single time I read it.

    You need to add to your list "What I want My Adopted Child to Know" by Sally Baschetta. It's my favorite. A must have.

    Again, great post! :o)